Leave the hotel at 5am, taxi to the train station. So many people (and dogs) sleeping on the street and the train station is full of people sleeping on the floor.

8am arrive in Agra. To the next hotel; the lobby looks promising, room not so much. People take your bag up to your room for you and then stand there waiting for a tip. I offered to take it myself and you wouldn’t let me so you can jog on fam.

Off to the Agra Fort. Tour round with lots of info I couldn’t take in. Lovely fort.

Back for lunch at a lil vegetarian restaurant round the corner from the hotel. Had an Indian style crepe filled with spiced potatoes.

We then went to the most amazing hotel which has a bar with views of the Taj Mahal (The Oberoi). Had a cheeky cocktail feeling classy. Wished we were rich enough to stay there.

Came back in a Tuk Tuk through a local village where everyone stared at us. Some absolute mad scenes.

Time for the Taj itself. Amazing. Took 20,000 labourers to build it over 22 years. No paintings or colour were used, all the colour is stones put into the white marble. Materials were transported by camel up a mud ramp and it cost 40 million rupees.

I was roped into a photo shoot. I agreed to one picture for 100 rupees and he took 22. We settled on 5 for 500 after much deliberation.

Had to put on shoe covers to go inside and see the replicates of the tombs. Saw the sunset as we came out.

Din was super spicy as usual. Lentils and naan 😰

Back to the hotel for a few drinks in Ellie and Josh’s room (boring people went to bed).

Tomorrow depart for Jaipur.

Got up late despite the amount of noise surrounding me. Horns outside and people clattering about and talking v loudly right outside my room with a paper door.

Had a luke warm shower then ventured out to find the Lotus Temple. Metro travel was a lot more successful today.

Had to take your shoes off to go inside the temple. Burnt my feet on the floor that was on fire. No pics allowed inside.

Someone asked to take a selfie with me. M8 there’s a lovely temple over there, go take a selfie with that.

Next stop, the Red Fort. Another selfie request. Again, what is wrong with the fort you came to see.

Walked to the Jama Masjid mosque. Everyone was walking in for free but they wanted 300 rupees from me because I’m not Indian. Not having that. Didn’t even look that great, could do with a refurb. A much hassled walk back to the metro.

Think I shall go straight back to the hotel. I hate Delhi.

Manage to watch an episode of Eastenders 🎉

Welcome meeting at 6pm. Meet ma group for the next two weeks- 6 English peeps, 1 German guy. Tour guide went through the whole itinerary and then out for our first dinner together. Went to the ‘street kitchen’, had a massive curry, massive rice and 2 cans of drink for £6 👌🏼

Up at 4am tomorrow for our train to Agra 😴

Picked up from ma lovely hotel at 6:30am. Manage to get some brek before it’s open. Walk the entire airport trying to see what I can get for 3 dirhams. Settle for 2 packs of mentos. Depart Dubai at 9:50am. So long Dub 😪.

Bit of cheeky extra leg room on the plane 👌🏼

4pm arrive in Dehli. Picked up by a ‘can for women, by women’. Constant beeping on the roads. You should probably expect to be ignored as the beep has just been degraded.

A four lane road is somehow turned into five. Cars and bikes everywhere and there is a man strolling through it trying to sell coconut and one with a feather duster.

Arrive at my hotel. Can’t communicate. Room/bathroom is disgusting. Want to cry.

Walk to the metro. Struggle to buy a ticket. Can’t see the picture of the route my m8 sent me as I don’t have WiFi so no idea where I’m going. No one understands me so no help. Want to cry. Everyone is staring at me on the train, small child is pointing. Get off the train praying it is the right station 🙏🏼 it is not. Ask some guy to call Sounak to find out where I am. Go another 4 stops. Was supposed to meet him at 5:30pm, it is now 7pm. But I’ve finally made it.

Uber to his apartment. It’s tiny. Made me a v nice dinner- paneer ‘Sounak special’. Went for a lil walk around the neighbourhood. V quiet, just a few strays and security guards about. Had some baileys and then ordered an Uber. How we made it back without colliding with something I do not know. Not the most relaxing journey but a 40 minute car ride for £1.98!!

1am time for some long overdue sleep 😴

Went up to see the rooftop pool. Very nice. If only I had more time here 😪

Breakfast this morning: pancakes, hash browns, ful madames(?), cheese stuffed tomatoes. Fruit and yog for dessert 👌🏼

Tried to ask at reception how to get to the mosque and they said there was no public transport. After about an hour I found my own route via three buses. Tried to buy a ticket on the bus but he didn’t understand me and told me to sit down. Free ride it is then.

Got off at the Burj al Arab- worlds most luxurious hotel. Had it’s own private beach that was over £200 to access. Walked further along to Jumeirah public beach. Sea was SO warm and clear and amazing but didn’t have my swim stuff so just a lil paddle for me 🙁

Walked half an hour until I found the next bus stop. Sweating. Even the bus shelters have AC.

Made it all the way to the mosque for free, lols 😏

Nice mosque but a long way to go just for a pic. Got another free bus back a bit and found my way to City Walk. A lovely outdoor retail complex. Got some pasta and Caesar salad for luncheon.

Bus to Internet City to try and get to Palm Jumeirah. Walk for 50 minutes and arrive at a monorail where the guy says you can monorail across but there’s not really much to see. Abort mission. Pay for tram to the marina to get back to mall of the emirates.

Another long walk back to the hotel. Quick dip in the rooftop pool 😌 down to reception for 7:30pm where the receptionist guy said he’d give me a lift to see the fountains. Do I trust? My feet tell me yes.

Went to see the Dubai Fountains. So cool. Water dancing about to Thriller. Had my first Tim Hortons in years, just as good as I remember. Canadian maple doughnut and vanilla ice cap 😋 Then went to Dubai canal, also v cool. Stopped to say hello to his friends before he dropped me back. Safe and sound.

11/10 would Dubai again. Do I have to leave in the morning ☹️

Wake up feeling rather royal in my giant bed. Plan a route of the places I want to see, now just to work out how to get there.

Down to the breakfast buffet. Can’t work out how the milk contraption works so black coffee it is.

Lovely scrambled eggs, potates, shrooms, French toast, fruit, cereal. Everythang 😋

Walked to the mall of the Emirates where there is ‘ski dubai’, an indoor ski slope with real snow, proper chair lifts, Christmas trees, toboggan things. -3 degrees when it’s 37 outside. Proper mental.

Got the metro to the Burj Khalifa and Dubai fountain, via a five mile walk through Dubai Mall and some more crazy fancy shops.

Tried to sit down on a bench and burnt my bum.

Wandering around in 38 degree heat trying to find my way back into the metro 😰

Metroed to the Dubai Frame and went up to the top. On one side you can see old Dubai and the other is modern Dubai, with a glass walkway in the middle.

Have to rush back for my safari. Make it back to the mall of the emirates where I was told there is a free shuttle to the hotel. The shuttle attendant thought different. Limped back with my ruined feet.

Just enough time for a footwear change, phone charge and cool down before my safari driver arrives.

Start the drive into the desert. Fun fact: they are currently building harbour creek which is going to be 1km high- taller than Burj Khalifa. Getting a bit greedy with all the tallest buildings.

They also have the biggest man made Safari in the world and the most luxurious hotel in the world.

Get to the desert and start Dune bashing- driving super fast and skidding everywhere in the sand dunes. V scary as it feels like the car is going to tip over.

Get to some sort of village thing in the middle of the desert where there is falafels and flatbread for starter. Take a camel ride, try on an Arab outfit and get a henna tattoo. There is then a fire eating show before the BBQ dinner. After is a bit o belly dancing.

10pm arrive back at the hotel. Sand everywhere. Popped some monster blisters and one sprayed right up and hit the ceiling, ouch. Super tired but I ❤️ Dubai.

Last day in Afrika. Had such a nice shower and got rid of the dreadlocks.

Swapped the top of the Deet and the deo to save the deodorant. Genius.

Fruit salad and yoghurt for brek 😋

Spent an hour trying to find a way to call internationally for free to reconfirm my hotel transfer in Dubai. Stress.

1pm picked up to go to the airport. A boring three hour wait ahead 😴

Land in Dubai at 10:30pm. It’s 37 degrees C 😳

The airport is so huge you have to get a train to baggage reclaim.

Arrive at my 4 star hotel. King size bed and a proper shower for three days 😌 straight in…right after a spot of bath tub laundry (£1 for 1 pair of pants? Nah m8)

Deodorant spray broke on my brand new can 😒 smelly days ahead. Let’s hope they sell deodorant in Dubai because they definitely don’t here.

Packed up my stuff, just about managed to zip the bag up.

9:30am Moses came to take me back to Nairobi.

Caught speeding on the way. Golly Moses.

Stopped for lunch and was put into a different car for the rest of the journey.

4:30pm back to Wildebeest Eco camp for the night. So good to have WiFi back 🎉

Dinner with some German people from the car ride back. Almost certainly got bitten by the thousands of mosquitos around the pond.

Bed time to be eaten alive.

6:40am picked up for my next safari trip. The driver is called Moses.

Met some people from Melbourne ready for my arrival down under.

7:15am went through a muddy puddle and got stuck. Another van had to come and save us. And another 6 to watch.

Today we spotted the illusive leopard.

Another new spot was the baboon and his bare bum.

Still no sign of the Rhino.

We saw a whole chain of Wildebeest migrating. They migrate between Kenya and Tanzania depending on weather conditions. They come over to Kenya to mate and then back to Tanzania to bathe. They have to cross the Mara river on the way, where there are hippos and crocodiles. We saw one had been killed by a crocodile. The crocodile will then leave it to rot in the water for about a week before it can eat it as they have a bad digestive system. Stank.

4pm back to camp for my last lonely night in Maasai Mara.

Some Swahili I’ve learnt along the way:

Jambo- hello

Saur- ok

Simba- lion

Pumba- warthog

Hakauna Matata- no problem

Karibu- welcome

Ashante- thank you

Last day at the school. On a Friday they have a morning prayer thing where they all gathered under a tree and danced and sang.

Tried to force tea down me again at break time. ‘In their culture you don’t sit and watch others drink’. Most things I would take but I can’t handle tea I’m afraid.

Left at lunchtime and was showered with necklaces and bracelets from the kids.

In the afternoon the guides took me their village and they all did a dance and showed us round. We went inside one of the houses, as you went in there was an area at the front for a baby cow to sleep. You then went round and there were three beds, one for parents, one for children and one for guests. In the middle of the beds was a small fire for cooking. There was only one small window because of mosquitos so it was basically pitch black in there and so small. They normally have six wives and about 13 kids with each wife as well so god knows how they all live. There was no toilet, he said they go to the forest and use a certain plant as toilet paper.

All the women were trying to sell me necklaces and bracelets or exchange US dollars for Kenyan money. V awks to keep saying no.

4:30pm back at camp until tomorrow 😩 good lord I miss company/WiFi.

Borrowed the chefs phone to ring the rents 😏😏

Up early for safari tomorrow 😴

Cold shower day.

Indian friends leave this morning so back to a lonely camp 😦

A boy working in camp tells me he’s 14 and works there during the summer to get money whilst he’s not at school as his parents are old so he depends on himself. He wants to go to university to be a doctor. He said he remembers all the people he meets at the camp and will remember me when I leave.

Climb the mountain feeling super unfit. Chaperone gets us a motorbike ride for the last bit of the walk back as he was bored of waiting for me.

10am back to school to invigilate exams and mark.

Back at camp for lunch they try to make me move tent so they can clean mine. I say no no no. Not having my moz net upset again, I shall live in dirt thank you very much.

They always look v annoyed whenever you say no to anything. Oops.

Main man guide comes to see me at dinner and takes me to the pub. He was disappointed when I could only hack one beer as I was too tired.